Sowing and Reaping

This was intended to post over a month ago. Sorry, brother:

In the whirlwind of phone calls, spreadsheets, and office birthday parties I found myself on a tiny retreat at work this week. A miniature reflection was being led by my friend and spiritual brother. His words have resounded in my heart and in just a few day's time have already born great meditation.
this image is from www.accessgambia.com

What do we do when our Lord has placed us in a field with a particular crop and it is bearing no fruit? Did we read the map wrong - up-side-down perhaps? This might not be the plot? Perhaps we grabbed the wrong satchel of seeds. These seeds seem too tiny, too dry, too green, even fragile and easily bruised- sure signs they couldn't possibly bear the vital and hearty crop we've been promised. Now what? Abandon ship, so to speak? Venture to the next lot and help someone else with his seedlings?

With all that in mind I came across this scripture from John chapter 4 (verses 30-37):

They went out of the town and came to him.

Meanwhile, the disciples urged him, "Rabbi, eat."

But he said to them, "I have food to eat of which you do not know."

So the disciples said to one another, "Could someone have brought him something to eat?"

Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of the one who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, 'In four months the harvest will be here'? I tell you, look up and see the fields ripe for the harvest.

The reaper is already receiving his payment and gathering crops for eternal life, so that the sower and reaper can rejoice together. For here the saying is verified that 'One sows and another reaps.'

It is important to look at the context in which Jesus is telling His friends, "one sows and another reaps"...He is revealing His great communion with God, His Father and the very source of his sustenance. With God Christ needs nothing else- not even a bite to eat. And it is within that framework that Christ tells his disciples "The reaper is already receiving his payment and gathering crops for eternal life so that the sower and reaper can rejoice together." The sower matters not without the reaper.

Here's to you, men!!!

a quick thought for today

blessings come in all shapes and sizes. a cliche saying, i know. but it's true. we never know how God is going to bless us. from an unexpected encounter with roommates to the opportunity to brighten the Emily Griffith high school student's day. sometimes the blessing we receive is getting the opportunity to brighten someone's day...

when sarah and i went to the EGOS (Emily Griffith Opportunity School) cafeteria tonight we encountered "GG" for the second or third week in a row. a shy and perhaps scrappy high school senior who didn't fit the normal public school mold and opted for "alternative" high school. She made us a rockin' omelet last time and we were excited to follow it up with a burrito. Unfortunately she bowed out because Jasmine is way better at making burritos. Despite my disappointment I had the opportunity to talk to Jasmine (you may remember her from such encounters as "hey! hey! you wanna give me some money for my college fund?* *insert sass and brashness here -or- the "incident" when someone took my orange right out of my hand... yes, it was the very same Jasmine). Anyway, it turns out that she is just a high school senior as well and just finished getting her GED. She's finishing classes and off to the "real world." the moral of the story is that everyone needs love and for someone to remember her name. Jasmine is no exception and i'm fairly certain I had the blessing of reminding a wayward 17 year old that she's worth remembering. here's to you

So much to be thankful for: Babies AND Broncos...

It was a fabulous Thanksgiving- so much to be thankful for! The tried and true traditions- Mass, a family blessing over the food, turkey, stuffing, great company, cards, coffee, cranberries. And some new activities- an outing to the Bronco's game, a nut chopper (which cut our stuffing prep time down at least by half)... Definitely a Thanksgiving to be remembered.

My cousins
asking my aunt Kathy to dip their rolls into gravy... they looked like they were little kids or little chicks needing their mom to provide every bite for them. Precious!

Courtnie & Siena, Faunia & Lexie hanging out after dinner. I wonder if Siena is going to constantly remind Lexie that she's "older" (by only a few months) just like Faunia did to Courtnie ;)

Thanks, Pampered Chef, here's something to be thankful for!! You guys are genius for creating this miraculous time saving gadget to chop anything and everything! From onions to nuts, no job is too big or too small. I HIGHLY recommend one of these- especially if your dad insists upon transforming pistachios and cashews into fine dust the night before or day of any major holiday*. Check them out at the Pampered Chef website. I promise you won't be sorry!

*Heather and Philip, you might be the only ones who have any idea what I'm talking about.

Siena Grace was really enjoying her carrot... and then she was really enjoying my carrot...

Go Bronco's! We beat the New York Giants 26 to 6!! We got to see the torches on the score board more than a few times! You could feel the heat on your face when they erupted with flames and fire works.

What handsome company I had! I was thankful to be with my favorite fellas!

After about a dozen attempts we finally got some descent pictures of the three of us. And it took me and Phil almost that many to get one where we were both looking semi -normal...

There was one single Giant's fan in the entire stadium and he happened to be sitting 8 seats over and 3 rows up. He was a courageous little fellow- definitely tried and true. Any time they would have any kind of positive activity there he was hootin' and hollerin' and cheering for his team. If I were on a team I would want him as my fan.

Long awaited San Francisco visuals

As I mentioned in my earlier post about San Fransisco I love the intricate details of the buildings they are breath taking in my opinion. And the colors! Oh the colors! They just make me melt- Dark Cyan with Maroon amidst the ever-present white with the scrolls and the molding... ah! I adore it.

There were quite a few highlights on my lightening-fast jet set trip... roaming around San Fran by my self, stumbling upon flower markets, a hippie boy sitting cross legged playing his guitar in the middle of the sidewalk on Height Street (I didn't have the guts to snap a shot of that one), and many other little bright moments. Not the least of which was Ali's "detour" on our way home from frozen yogurt at Alan and Jarad's. We were in the thick of an excellent conversation and before I knew it she was pulling the car into a dark parking lot. Now, I don't know SF very well, but I do know this is not where she lives. Unless you use the term "live" in a different way- like when you kick off your shoes, laugh with reckless abandon, take a chance, do something out of the ordinary- that's the kind of place where she "lives" if that's what you mean. Anyway, we hopped out of the car, it was colder and I could hear a distant rhythmic rumble. The ocean!! We walked down to the cool sand, I kicked my shoes off the moment the sidewalk ended and the beach began. The black night sky and the white waves kissed and parted the way waves do and Ali started to spin me around and sing our favorite old standard "Frim Fram Sauce". I felt so loved and honored and after she dipped me and we shared some giggles we headed back to the car. I told her if a movie is ever made about my life I certainly want that moment included.

I also took some pictures if Ali's street (California if you're familiar with the Bay Area you know that really is right down town) Anyway, the pictures didn't turn out to well- it was too dreary. But I decided to use the opportunity to use "GIMP" (a highly recommended free program for editing pictures) and make this one a little funkier.

And here is the most beautiful picture that was taken while I was there. Ali and Alan after they ran the San Francisco Half-Marathon. It was wonderful to witness such a victory! I am so glad I got to share that moment with Ali. What a great trip! I think I'll go back :). Love you, Pal!

now for a miracle

it was a long day.

really long.

i felt completely warn out by a deep conversation with a friend of mine who is really struggling with her boyfriend. it's so hard to see someone going through something like that and not just jump out in front of her hand raised high and scream at the top of your lungs "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? Don't you know you are worth so much more?" ...but alas, such remarks are not often well received and in the name of charity we must be respectful of the free-will of others. My heart breaks at the thought of how he treats her and the way he struggles to actually love. It is absolutely devastating to her fragile, young heart. It breaks her apart from him and from all of us who adore her.

then there was the coffee date with another friend who is feeling not-so-hot about his recent decision to join the Catholic church- WHEW!- that's heavy. his examination of all of us Catholics who are really not living out our faith, no less existing in the freedom that's available to those set free by Christ is causing him to reconsider joining us. and in reality, why would he if that's all he saw- a bunch of judgmental, self-righteous people? i surely wouldn't want any part of that. and even if i did it seems that it would be pretty difficult to get an in.

and then i went to K-Mart. it smells awful.

...now for the miracle. None of that really matters (i mean it kind of matters, but...)

When we consider that the victory has been won and that we have infinitely more than all we could ask or imagine all at our fingertips the challenges and worries become minuscule. and it is possible. we CAN live there! with a little trust, a little faith, a little hope we CAN move those mountains, right into the sea! we can unite in suffering with those around us who are suffering, but only because we have been given the gift of uniting in suffering with the One who's sacrifice triumphed over all of it. Because of Him we can be in perfect communion now and in eternity.

and one last thing: my family is all in town for my cousin's wedding and i just spent the evening with them. despite my ridiculously long day and all of the grave matters that seemed to be arriving at my doorstep i got to spend hours with the people who have known me from day one (when i dressed up like a jelly bean for Halloween). for those few hours i knew exactly who i was and exactly where i fit in. and that's just a foretaste of the community that will come in eternity. dang, He really does love us- it IS a miracle.

San Franny

I LOVE San Francisco. The food. The embellishments on the buildings. The company. The energy. Everything about it- I love....

I took some fun pictures and I'm excited to post them. Until then! Peace love and harmony.

Sew sew

Today marks one month of sewing at Emily Griffith Opportunity School. Every week I spend three hours in the basement of an old school reminiscent of a sitcom high school- complete with swinging double doors, long halls laden with encouraging posters (Everyone makes mistakes, that's why pencils have erasers), and a line out the door at the counselor's office. Yup, it's all the same... except for the shadows on the walls from the sparks of a blow torch (Welding 101), oh, and the manikin head eerily facing the street as you walk by (Hairstyling 101)...and I almost forgot, the fact that there are only about 50 of us in the entire school which is built for hundreds... except all of that it's exactly the same.

Let the adventure continue...

Homesick no more

Having grown up in a "non-traditional" family I've often allowed myself to fall into despair about what the future holds for my own home. I experienced my childhood between every-other weekends and talk of child support and alimony. Thankfully, I also continued concerning myself with Barbies, days at the creek, and neighborhood kickball games... my childhood was certainly not all lost.

Today's meditation from In Conversation with God (Francis Fernandez... highly recommended) reminds us "We should never forget the first thing Jesus chose to sanctify was the home." A reminder that brought me to tears as I read it from my pew at the Cathedral this evening. My tears were not out of sadness or self pity (although that would not have been out of the ordinary) but instead from a place of deep gratitude. Gratitude for the gift that is family. The gift of having all your siblings around the dinner table. The gift of being able to help your dad in the garage. The gift of offering your sister 5 more minutes in your home's only bathroom. The gift of all pitching in to prepare for company. These are gifts that I was still given despite the brokenness that existed. Gifts that are such if we continue looking for them and inviting them in.

My tears of gratitude were also directed at the plans God has for me "plans for welfare and not for harm... a future with hope." Plans that can't so easily be snatched away- not even by a tarnished home life. At least not if He is allowed to be the one in charge.

It is true Jesus did and does sanctify the home- whether the home were you live with both your parents or just one. In our home He gives us, like no other place, a school for virtue. There we are constantly being invited to charity, compassion, patience, and cheerfulness.

In his reflection on today's Gospel Archbishop Chaput pointed out that just after Jesus tells His disciples about the indissolubility of marriage He firmly reminds them of their need to be like little children. This is no coincidence. To be like little children, those in Jesus' time, is precisely what we all need to do. We all need to recognize ourselves as being without status, unimportant, and as not being owed a single thing. With that attitude we can truly accept that which God gives us from His loving hand. Even if it is a family or home that is broken...difficult...wounded...

That reality that Jesus chose to sanctify the family before anything else is joyful and hope-filled. For those of us who are striving to see how God will make strait the crooked paths of our families' pasts we can know that He wasn't excluding us when he decided to pour graces and blessings upon the home. He did not only choose to sanctify the perfect families, but the jacked up ones as well. He withholds His goodness from no one and makes available His love for us all.
It is within the home that we are first invited to love as God loves- without limits- even if the home is cracked or crumbling.

Instead of being homesick at the thought of what I've missed I'm going to lift my eyes up to the hills and wait for the help that comes from the Lord, who chose to first sanctify the home- the place which prepares us for our eternal home.