Turtle Neck Swimming Suit Fiasco

In sixth grade, just after my parents got divorced, I was in desperate need of a new swimming suit. My dad, smack in the middle of a mid-life crisis, bought a boat with his brother and we suddenly found ourselves on the lake every-other weekend.

So there we were wandering through the racks of Wal*Mart. Me and the recent bachelor looking for a swimming suit for the awkward twelve year old body of mine. Even if it didn't look so awkward it felt awkward and that was enough to keep me embarrassed at almost every moment of the day. You can imagine the shade of my face as my dad and I searched for a nylon article of clothing that might as well be underwear.

Among racing suits and bikinis of every size and color- well, every size but mine as such things go- was a swimming suit like I had never seen before and have never seen since. My dad found it and I believe me, it was a sight to behold- the turtle neck swimming suit. An unidentifiable paisley-ish pattern with pinks and yellows which didn't quite go together, it was a mock turtle neck with thick straps that covered the whole shoulder. The top extended to the bottoms and the bottoms were shorts that fit no one, I'm fairly certain of it.

Once the tankini was found my dad was convinced that I must be its owner. Despite much pleading and whining I was suddenly wearing it in all its horrendousness. But at $9 how could we pass it down? my dad wondered. Due to some low lever miracle, pass it down we did. I finally convinced him that there were other fish in the sea and if he ever wanted to see me out at the lake again that poor excuse for a swimming suit could not come home with us.

I just thought you should know.

Homesick no more

Having grown up in a "non-traditional" family I've often allowed myself to fall into despair about what the future holds for my own home. I experienced my childhood between every-other weekends and talk of child support and alimony. Thankfully, I also continued concerning myself with Barbies, days at the creek, and neighborhood kickball games... my childhood was certainly not all lost.

Today's meditation from In Conversation with God (Francis Fernandez... highly recommended) reminds us "We should never forget the first thing Jesus chose to sanctify was the home." A reminder that brought me to tears as I read it from my pew at the Cathedral this evening. My tears were not out of sadness or self pity (although that would not have been out of the ordinary) but instead from a place of deep gratitude. Gratitude for the gift that is family. The gift of having all your siblings around the dinner table. The gift of being able to help your dad in the garage. The gift of offering your sister 5 more minutes in your home's only bathroom. The gift of all pitching in to prepare for company. These are gifts that I was still given despite the brokenness that existed. Gifts that are such if we continue looking for them and inviting them in.

My tears of gratitude were also directed at the plans God has for me "plans for welfare and not for harm... a future with hope." Plans that can't so easily be snatched away- not even by a tarnished home life. At least not if He is allowed to be the one in charge.

It is true Jesus did and does sanctify the home- whether the home were you live with both your parents or just one. In our home He gives us, like no other place, a school for virtue. There we are constantly being invited to charity, compassion, patience, and cheerfulness.

In his reflection on today's Gospel Archbishop Chaput pointed out that just after Jesus tells His disciples about the indissolubility of marriage He firmly reminds them of their need to be like little children. This is no coincidence. To be like little children, those in Jesus' time, is precisely what we all need to do. We all need to recognize ourselves as being without status, unimportant, and as not being owed a single thing. With that attitude we can truly accept that which God gives us from His loving hand. Even if it is a family or home that is broken...difficult...wounded...

That reality that Jesus chose to sanctify the family before anything else is joyful and hope-filled. For those of us who are striving to see how God will make strait the crooked paths of our families' pasts we can know that He wasn't excluding us when he decided to pour graces and blessings upon the home. He did not only choose to sanctify the perfect families, but the jacked up ones as well. He withholds His goodness from no one and makes available His love for us all.
It is within the home that we are first invited to love as God loves- without limits- even if the home is cracked or crumbling.

Instead of being homesick at the thought of what I've missed I'm going to lift my eyes up to the hills and wait for the help that comes from the Lord, who chose to first sanctify the home- the place which prepares us for our eternal home.